Irritation!

It's a feeling of irritation that makes me feel awkward and discomfort that caused me feel moody for the past few days. Hence, my action and/or respond are also affected. It could be people, it could be incident, it could be works, it could be stress, it could be worries, it could be my health, it could be expectation, it could be tiredness, it could be my mind, it could be just me... but I am feeling it... It's irritating...!!!

I acknowledged one of my weakness all these while but still, I have failed to control over my feeling when a similar event occur. I hate my plan being disrupt and yet, the one who disrupted it has failed to take charge of the event. My principle is simple. Whoever wants to have a say on a certain event, he/she shall take charge of whatever he/she caused. Do not get me wrong. I am not saying I don't want to be part of the event anymore. I am just saying, don't expect me to take charge of that event if it is disrupted by him/her.

Some great people and great friends of course do know I feel rather irritating lately and took the initiative to get things going. I appreciate that...otherwise, I don't really know if the 'star' of the event will feel bad about the whole event. Of course, if things like that happen, I am 100% sure blame is on me...

Hai.... it's seriously not easy to be who I am. Hence, my favourite phrase "..." is used often lately.

- Irritation! -

Recovering...

I am still in the midst of recovering... from my physical sickness. Due to my sickness, I have failed to meet up with a friend.

Due to my sickness, my mother called me to check if I have fully recovered yesterday. Oh well, I have told her that some really nice friends who really took the trouble to brought me food. Knowing that they have squeezed some time out just to brought me food made me feel like I am still 3 years old. hahaha... Oh well, thanks...

Speaking of food... I have told my mom what my friends brought me... PORRIDGE... for no particular reason, I just don't like porridge. May be it taste weird when one is sick? So, since I do not like it in the beginning (not that I don't eat, just won't take it if I have the choice), it tasted even worse when I was sick. When I told this to my mom, she was laughing at me saying, everyone who is ill is SUPPOSE to eat Porridge. In a way, she is trying to tell me my friends have brought me the BEST food. hahaha... I believe they are... really... seriously... !!!

So, I guess because I don't want to eat porridge anymore and therefore, I am recovering from all sickness the soonest possible.... hahahahahaha...

- recovering -

Rest?

I received a sms during lunch time asking if I am doing ok (All because I am not online?). Told my friend I am at home resting today as fever still persist. My friend somehow sent another message : "Need rest, well, you did say you wanted rest huh? What a break!" After I read that, I can't stop laughing... indeed, I asked for a break... and I have been asking for it for months... and there I go... keep falling sick... and each time, it gone more severe.

I seriously do not know if it is my physical body and my spirit and soul that's feeling tired. May be all of it. I am just feeling 'tired' of 'walking through' what I am going through. It's not easy and it's not fun too (although I like challenges)!

I couldn't sleep well last night and I couldn't get up this morning, but my physical body refused to sleep as I feel pain on every area of my body but yet, mind tells me that I should wake up and yet, I was feeling weak and didn't even have energy to stand up. With all that, I pushed myself up at around 8:30am and pushed myself to eat something in order to consume all necessary medicine. After that, I still feel very tired and sleepy... and I went to sleep until the debtor/defendant I was telling you about called asking me if I can release his car if he pays what I asked for. I therefore have to call my partner to get things arranged. Errr.....

So... REST?

- rest? -