Desperate...

I am desperate for a break... but I am also desperate to get some works and earn some money. Well, to some they would think I had about 2 weeks break... But to me, I really need a break. 2 weeks of works has enough to 'kill' my spirit and energy. Ghoosh... I need a break!!! However, some people just think that I am FREE for 2 weeks and therefore, I need to 'work' again. I am tired. Really tired!!!

- desperate -

Another challenge!

This year, God gave me another challenge.

About 3 months ago, I attended the Young Adult Youth Camp in Kundasang, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah. During that camp, a Priest asked if I can give a special talk / sharing about Will-writing. Giving a talk/sharing about Will-writing is not something new to me as I done many similar things to the franchisee when I was working as Legal Executive with this leading Will-writing company. However, sharing with 3 congregation in 3 services on Sunday is something very very NEW to me. I need wisdom not only to share about Will-writing, but I do need to share about Will-writing and giving in a Christian perspective. It's something very challenging. However, I thought it is something I might be able to gain experience with as well as a learning opportunity.

So, when the Priest called me again about a month ago with regards to the matter, I took up the challenge and sacrified my best friend's another wedding dinner at Kedah. Well, the best thing about best friend is that they understands. It's nothing like what or who is more important. It's always about priority. Well, at least I am sure my best friend do know that my care, my love will always be with her.

Well, ... everything was set and I travelled to this small town yesterday afternoon. When I reached, I joined the children camp till late evening. I am very glad to be able to met an old friend and we chat and shared quite a bit. Well, as I went to bed last night, I almost couldn't sleep as I really was praying and thinking of what's the BEST way to convey the message to the congregations. It's a tough job to make sure that they got what I wanted to say. Moreover, I need to share in 3 languages, i.e. English, Chinese (Mandarin) and BM. It's chanllenging. The most challenging of course, sharing in BM as I have no experience whatsoever in sharing Will-writing in BM moreover, about giving to the Lord. It's my first experience sharing in BM.

While I was preparing and putting my sharing in BM to paper, I remember that my godmother did gave me a BM bible years ago. I remember she passed it to one my the priest to pass it to me. I wonder the reason of giving me a BM bible. However, I have used this bible in preperation for my sharing.

I had a somewhat exciting and challenging day today and when I reached KK, I just felt that I just finish work and at one point, I thought I am already in a full time ministry. I almost forgot that I am a lawyer and not a preaching nor a full time worker. It's a challenge and I believe, the Lord is directing me to the path He has planned for me. I know He is preparing me for something... something that He has planned for me way before anyone of us knows about it.

- challenge -

A week has gone past...

It is so unbelievable that time flies so swiftly that a week has gone past. I remember last week, everyone gathered for dinner before the big day on Saturday. At this hour, I recalled that we are decorating the cars for the big day and to done up with all the last minute preperation. We had 'fun' that evening. A week has gone past and I really has started to feel the pressure, the pressure of chasing time. Another 4 months and year 2007 will come to an end. I wonder what have I achieved so far. Since the end of December last year and/or beginning of January this year, I have been thinking whether to continue to be partner in this firm. Somehow, God has opened a door for me to come back to Sabah. I am really glad that I am back here. I really wanted to practice law for a few years and at the same time, serving God in the Sabah community. God also has opened up a door for me to go mission and more over, the business was quite stable then.

Business has suddenly become very quiet in KK. However, I always has businesses to handle everytime I went home for 'holiday'. God has nevertheless blessed me! After next month, I will have to check my account to renew my practising certificate and that's mean, it's the 3rd year I practices in Sabah. Time flies... I can't believe this. But what I really wanted to do now, is that the time will come soon for me to step out to another phrase of my life. Be it a short term mission or whatever. I really pray that God will from now till I am called to go out, prepare and provide me with finances. It has somehow pressured me these few months where the business is really really slow. But thank God that people arounds me constantly remind me of not to worry about future. A friend has today encouraged me by saying that the business doesn't belong to me and therefore, I shouldn't worry about it. Well, I guess she's right. Since when I can control anything about myself? Since when I hold the future? Since when I can run my own life to the way I want it? I always says that "my life is not in my hand" and I believe, my life is STILL not in my hand today.

All I ask therefore is that, I will be able to continue to hold fast to Him for Him to bless me!

These few days, I have been quite emotional. People has been 'offending' me somehow regardless of light or serious matters. I guess, I am really frustrated when people arounds me doesn't seems to understand my situation. I guess, I am really frustrated when I saw people entering into another chapter of life and that they are happy and has nothing to worry about. I really pray that God will bring me to the next chapter of my life without any 'cost'.

...

Well, I really had a good break last week during my friend's wedding. I have started to miss them now... ghoosh....!!!!

...

- time flies -