Who am I?

I was so busy yesterday and that I sorted out things in the office, one or two of the cases and went to the court in the afternoon with clients to do signing in front of Registrar and yet, when I returned to the office, I noted that both my partner and my clerk were so free. Obviously they do not have to attend to all these signing, drafting, researching. What my partner suppose to do is to solicit some works into the firm and yet, I have seen none of this happening. What does my clerk suppose to do? She is suppose to lighten by burden by helping me with very small and simple works, i.e. issue payment voucher, banking, recording files record, etc. etc. and yet, I have seen none of this happening.

I went to court yesterday afternoon and I met someone who doesn't look like an office boy nor a lawyer. She carried lots of cause papers in her hand and she seems LOST. While I was waiting for the Registrar to sign all the papers, she finally came and talk to me. She wasn't really sure about what she should do. So I know she is new. I asked if she is doing her pupillege but to my amaze, she's not. She is just an office clerk. I was shock when she told me that because office clerk seldom been asked to do filing in the court. I noted that all the clerks in her firm is taking turns to do filing in the court. I thought she gave me a shock until she said she was shock to know that a lawyer need to be in court to bring clients for signing. Well, this is not the first time I heard such a comment. To Sabah, lawyer do not do all the filing and bringing clients to courts, etc. They will ask the office boy or the office clerk to do all the works. Lawyer is someone who has a certain status where they won't go even to Mamak or some 'cheap' places. I am not suprise. I do know that lawyer need to be respected. But yet, ... I just ponder in my head of whether this is what I want.. and of what I know, I don't.

I don't like to be like everybody. I don't lives a life like everybody. If you ask me why, I think the only thing I can tell you is that of all things that I have experienced in the past, I have seen things differently and my priority and focus has shifted from the 'normal' expectation kind of life to an 'abnormal' one. For example, I can choose to lives a life like every other lawyer. Eat the best, drives a nice car, lives like a queen, lives luxuriously, etc. But I don't. I don't like that kind of life. I don't like that kind of living... I like to be around the poor, to be around the needy and to see what I can help them with as a lawyer. I don't like to have money as my priority. I hope I can give a little help to those who needs and where I have the ability to help.

So I do not mind doing all sorts of job. However, lately I found that with this kind of attitudes I have, I always being bullied. Bullied by my partner, by my client, and the worse, by my clerk. My clerk started to think those jobs are not hers. My clerk started to be lazy. This morning, she handed me this photocopy invoices issued by the photocopy shop next to us. For your information, because we do not have much photocopy to make, we do not rent or have any photocopy machine in our premise YET. So, I have asked my clerk to record every photocopy we made. She has been good all these while but not for the previous month. I guess she didn't expect I will check on this today. I saw a 200++ photocopy were made and I wasn't aware of it so I asked her on which file we did such a photocopy. I do know actually because it's my file. But she couldn't give me any answer on this. I asked her to produce me with the record she made. I asked her like 8 times, and for the last time, I asked her to bring the whole record immediately. She came into my office, confessed that she didn't make any record for last month. I am fine with it if she can give me a valid reason but she failed. It's simply because she is lazy. I hand the invoice to her and told her strictly that if she cannot determine all the charges to me, she has to bear the cost and she has to pay that particular invoice.

I have tons of things to do in my schedule. I have drafting to do, I have filing to do, I have to go to the bank, I am handing all the accounts (accountant should be here to audit soon) and yet, she is not helping. Many times, I saw her enjoying her sweet time sitting at her table and relaxing herself. I really wonder why do I need her sometimes. I really need someone good, someone who can help me to lighten my works.

If you are wondering what sort of person I am. Just remmeber, I am unique and I am not someone who is living an ordinary life like most people do. I lives a special life. Not until you are willing to accept this 'speciality', you won't be able to understand me and how I lives my life.

- who am I? -

'Weird' ...

It has been for a long time now that I did not have any duty on Sunday in the church. I felt weird since last night as I normally preparing myself on Saturday evening for my duty on Sunday. But yesterday, I just felt so .... not to say 'free', but... just weird.... !!! I lent my laptop to a friend to be used in the Youth fellowship and because of that, I felt part of me was not with me. Well, I just felt 'weird' the whole evening to be exact!!!

I didn't have a good rest last night even though I went to bed quite early yesterday evening. I was suppose to wake up at 8:15am this morning but I woke up at about 7am. I am not quite sure the reason though. I did however stayed in bed until 8:15am then got myself ready for church service. I arrived at 8:50am. Met a pastor when I arrived and she was shock that I have a day off today. She said she never saw me not having any duty on Sunday and today, it's the first time seeing me without any duty. Hmm... I wonder when was the last time I was having my day off. Well... walked in, I found besides the worship team, I know no one and I found no one to sit with ... except a friend who always sits by himself. So I went and sat besides him.

While I was sitting in there in the church throughout the whole service, my mind wander around... I wonder how difficult it is to be in the church alone. Just like my friend here whom I sat with. He is new in the church. He doesn't know most of the people and so did I. I probably came about 3 to 4 months earlier than him. I am just like him actually... I know not many people in the church. It's really not easy to adapt and to get to know as many people as possible. I have taken just a few weeks before I got to know a bunch of friends in church. Thanks to a few of them who really made differences in my life. I am considered as 'passive' in my character, but when I come into these kind of situation, I really forced myself to adapt.

Some people I met in church has brought me joy. But these few months, no doubt, I went through not only joy, but also sadness, disappointment, discouragement, etc. etc. Friends whom I know less than a year told me I always hurt people with my words. I admit to it because I truely do not know how to deal and talk to some really 'new' people. They are new to me. I mean, the way they think, the way they talk, the way they commit on things, etc. I saw my limited ability to deal with them. Lately, I felt too tired to deal and I think I have in many ways, hurted a few because of my 'tiredness' to deal. These week, I was hurt, truely hurted by words they said.

So this morning, while I was sitting in church and wondering about church, about committment, about friends, about brothers and sisters, it's just 'weird' when my heart, mind and soul failed to come into 'agreement'. Yes. I have mixtures of feelings of all things that had happen to me. Tonight, I was having dinner with my grand aunty and her family. She reminded me that have been here in this new place for almost a year. It's shocking how time flies... and how things changed at my end. To be very frank, I don't think I am happy nor satisfied, nor agree with most of the things I done it for the past MONTHS in this new place. I have truely failed myself in every area of my life.

Hmm... may be it is just a feeling.. but I felt just like a total 'failure'.

- failed to be myself -

Different Country? Different System? Different Law? Different Court Forms?

If a person died intestate (without a Will), then the administrator/administratrix shall apply to court by Petition for Letter of Administration. All the law and rules are govern by the Probate and Administration Ordinance. All the cause papers are to follow something call the Intestate Rules. That is understood as far as Sabah is concern. This is much different in Kuala Lumpur as they are not using the Ordinance or Rules I mentioned earlier. They are all govern by Probate and Administration Act. As a foreign graduate, all Malaysian are FORCED to sit for an examination call the Certificate for Legal Practice (CLP) for us to qualified under the Legal Professions Act to be admitted to the High Court of Malaya and/or High Court of Sabah & Sarawak. During the whole CLP course and examination, we were taught the so called, Malaysia law. We studied the Probate and Administration and/or the Land Law. However, those are quite UNPRACTICAL in Sabah and Sarawak. I never have any complain about it because knowing the laws are considered an add-on in my life.

I noted there are many differences between the law and system in Malaya and Sabah. However, It never cross my mind of the issue that I met recently and/or today in court. As far as I know, this, has NOTHING to do with the different law. I respect the law and those who drafted them. But I don't like it when the court doesn't follow the rules. i.e. The Rules of High Court 1980. Everything in the High Court should follow the Rules of High Court. i.e. the validity of Writ, how to do extention. How long is the maximum of the extention of the Writ, etc. What is injunction, how to do amendment in all the cause papers? What is petition, what is summons, what is originating summons, etc. etc. And for your information, the Grant of Probate is also stated in the Rules of High Court 1980. So, during my stay with a KL firm, if I need certain forms, I will look at the Rules of High Court 1980 and follow exactly. I never get wrong if I read it well and follow it strictly.

But thing is not as such in Sabah. I was told by the court that following the Rules of the High Court is wrong. The Court told me we should follow the Ordinance. They might be correct in this. May be the Ordinances did mentioned something about it. But wait... you do need to know what are the things they said it was wrong.... my witness affidavit. Affidavit is a sworn document. I have checked the Commissioners for Oaths Rules 1993. Under Rules 11 and 12, it states clearly of the power of a Commissioners for Oaths. Affidavit is stated clearly as one of the documents that can be affirmed in front of Commissioners for Oaths. But this is not the case this afternoon in court. My affidavit affirmed in front of Commissioners for Oaths were being rejected and was told, NOT ACCEPTABLE. I have checked the Rules of High Court 1980 with regards to affidavit and it has nothing like affirmed in front of Commissioners for Oaths cannot be accepted. Moreover, if other affidavit in support of other application to the high court can be accepted, why is there a different in a Petition for Grant of Probate?

I know Sabah has a better LAW, ORDINANCES and RULES but if that is the case, why not make the Sabahan to take up some Bar course instead of CLP? If Sabah is better, why do they need to follow the Legal Profession Act and not something of their own? I could be wrong in my above reasoning or reading of the law and I do need a lot of reading and educating. But first, tell me where can I get some really good books with regards to laws in Sabah? Even statues... tell me how many bookstores in Sabah has all the ordinances and rules? If you happen to be from Sandakan, Beaufort, Tawau, Semporna, or other places besides Kota Kinabalu, then you have no choice, but to travel all the way to Kota Kinabalu, try to look for this road call Jalan Tuaran and locate a place call Jabatan Percetakan to get your status.

I won't be so frustrated if the court can tell me on what ground they rejected my affidavit sworned in front of Commissioners for Oath. I would be so happy if they can even point out my mistake by showing me the rules I mis-read. But they didn't. The only thing I was told was that, "Sorry, you have just did what others have not done and we never encounter such thing. We do not know how to handle". Or in Malay "Dari dulu lagi kami buat begini. Ada perbezaan sikit, kami tak tahu lah...".

They also told me they are using a different kind of court forms. I made enquiries about the Malaysian Court Form from MLJ (Malayan Law Journal) about 3 months ago. I am grateful now that I didn't buy it. It's not for the whole Malaysia I was told by the Sabah Court. I am not sure how true it is. But if it is 2 different system, 2 different kind of law and 2 different court forms, I do think there is a necessity to have 2 kind of Bar exmination instead of just CLP. If the court clerks in Sabah can only answer the above statement, I suggested they also go through some courses or examination.

I seriously lost passion for the law in this country. I am at utmost disappointment today. The court has any rights to reject my documentations if I did a mistake or mis-read certain status. But this is wholely because my sworn my affidavit in front of a commissioners for oath instead of the Registrar.

I asked them in the case if both of my witnesses were outstation in Australia, do they still need to be present in front of Registrar and the answer I was given was "saya pun tak tahu" (I also don't know). I told them I filed the similar documents to court few months ago and it was accepted but not this one. I asked for explaination but they didn't manage to tell me any reason. This is so funny. It's either there is no consistency in Court or they do not know what they are doing. I am seriously not being able to accept this 'failure' because I am not being given a good reason and ground.

I am suprise to know that in the whole Sabah, none of the lawyer is taking any steps into it. Of course I do know one of the reason of it... that is most lawyer don't do court works anymore. They rather deal with the banks. hahaha... Who deals with the court? Let me tell you, the runner. I am so not satisfied with things today.

Now if you think you want to sue me for defamation, you better think again. This is just what happen to me today. I am voicing my own experience and my sense of failure. I am not saying that the court is not good or the law is not good. It's just my emotions, opinion and ... hai... disappointment!!!

- sad -