Tuesday, January 17, 2023

Finding peace and joy in difficult time

My second toenail that was hurt during a long walk in September 2022 has just fallen off.  It reminded me of one of the lessons I learned during this training (Reach in the City, UK).  I am in the 5th month and it's ending soon.  Even though I enjoyed so much what I am doing the past few months, it seems like it is going to end nevertheless. 

I walked a lot since I came and I don't mind walking a lot these days because the weather is not hot and humid, but it's wet and cold.  Is it better to walk? Well, I am not sure which one I prefer better, to be honest. 

Why did I join the Reach programme in the winter months? I have no idea.  It's available and it's just the right timing to be away from work. Well, the last few months of training were Arthur and Nicky's last session/training of Reach in the City, UK.  Just before we leave, we realised that they are changing the Reach in the City, UK programmes to a totally different one in the coming September intake.  So, yes, Reach in the City, UK will be very different starting in 2023.  

The long walk.  

I remember there was one time when I was kind of lost, a friend took me for a long walk in a jungle I have never been to and she was not familiar with.  We got lost halfway through and because the sun was scorching hot and sunny and I did not bring water with me, the journey was a bit difficult, tiring and fearful. There are lots of unknowns and then the sky is turning dark and the sun is going down, my anxiety took over my body and mind and I felt so lost and tired.  I remember a passerby saw us and gave me the water and even though I was trying to catch up with his pace, we lost him halfway because I was too tired to walk.   We got out of the place before the sun turned dark and when I reached home and told my dad about that, he said, "do not go unprepared and it was not the physical part that failed you, it's the mental part.  The anxiety caused you to feel tired and lost focus".  I remember I wrote something about our life journey after that. On how we can get lost if we do not have anyone to lead us or to tell us which path to take.  Even though there's help along the way, we will still find it difficult for us to move on and catch up so we can reach the destination safely and faster.  By putting our own efforts into the unknown path that we are walking, it only leads us to feel tired, difficult and anxious/fearful.  The total journey took us 3 hours instead of 1 hour. 

The 8 hours walk in September 2023 surprised me.  I was doubtful that I am able to make it.  It was team building week and I kept mumbling that I wouldn't be able to make it the whole week before that. It's 8 hours of walking, under very wet weather conditions.  There were probably only 20 minutes of sun and the rest of the time, I was under heavy rain while we walked.  It was difficult.  My shoes hurt my feet so badly (I threw away the shoes after that), and my ankle and knees compromised after 5 hours of walking. I slowed down my teammates' pace (they have to stop a lot just to wait for me), but I keep walking, I was tired, but I keep walking and my only focus was to walk and follow where my teammates are going.  There's no need for me to worry about where to go or anything.  I have my food and my water with me.  When the leader said stop, we will stop for a break.  When he said go, we will go.  Some of my teammates followed my pace and talked to me, and keep me company, especially during the last 2 hours as they know my ankle is hurting me so badly then that I almost gave up the last bit.  Some of my teammates offered to take my bag for me.  My leader gave me the walking stick.  It was difficult, it was a long walk with different Terrance in different areas, but I enjoyed it so much more than the walk I had previously.  So as my life journey.  Following the right leader with a group of people to go through hardship and the difficult path will not hurt so much.  In fact, I can enjoy that joy and peace even during hardship and difficult times.  It reminded me so much of how much we need Jesus to be our leader and our brothers and sisters in Christ who journey together in life and with that, it is good enough to be able to enjoy joy and peace even though life is sour and bitter (or wet and cold).  The whole team was rejoicing when we finally saw a van parked in front of us and said, "hey, you have done it, get up and let's go home".  My teammate turned to me, and some came and pat me on the shoulder and said, "we did it!!!!" and some said, "Pei San, it's over, you have done it!!!".    

Many people asked how we find joy and peace during difficult times.  Well, I have just told you the answer:  Jesus & the follower of Christ.  All you need is to follow Jesus and walked together with your 'teammates', so that you are able to keep walking, knowing that everything is going to be fine and we will reach our destination safely, happily and with lots of celebration.  

After 8 hours of walking, I took a shower, changed my shoes and headed to the hall for a sumptuous dinner that's prepared by the OM leaders.  Surprise Surprise... I managed to walk 8 hours under heavy rain and cold.... and survived without giving up half way.  

No matter how difficult it is, it will come to an end.  But will you be able to enjoy some peace and joy during the walk? I hope you do too. 

- finding peace and joy - 


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