Forgotten...

These few years it has been crazily different. After all that had happen, I forgot, sort of... Who I was .... exactly.  Recently, I met many old friends...... Whom I have lost touch for years.  Some I cannot even remember their names and faces, but all of them are telling me I had contributed to their success.  Just like those who had touched my life when I was young, I somehow had done the same during my youth time.  I forgot I wasn't leading a group or two of youth.... It was the whole youth fellowship consisted about 150-200 youth, while all the other leaders were oversea, further their studies. I was training the leaders of all sorts.... .  Today, the new leaders might not remember who I am. But those I impacted remembers......

Even one or two of my secondary schoolmates testified today what I have done that made them believe in Jesus.  I forgot I was born, trained and chosen as His servant. 

The question is, am I still ? The recent trend now is that you have to be a full time workers in order for you to serve The Lord as a leader... Which is totally different from those days where whoever is willing, God needs you.... Even though many whom I have trained is now priest and pastors.... But many also have not serving now because they were being 'rejected' by the church.... I am of course, one of them. It is somehow, Very demoralising and discouraging....

The dilemma is that, due to being rejected, we put all our efforts and energies on our works and most of us succeeded in our career..... And then, the church leaders are labelling us as we are spending more time elsewhere and not God. Such accusation to me, is irresponsible and very selfish.

If we having learned of the weaknesses in church and we voiced out, we were said, we are too earthly too. The church these days..... To me is full of hypocrites than servant of God. They claim they are the ONLY one who knows the heart of God.... And we, who are not as 'great leader' as them, has little God exist in our life. 

Seriously, that's exactly why I forgot the meaning of being God's servant. I guess, I just do not want to be equally yorks with this bunch of leaders....

- forgotten -