Frustration!

I am not sure what triggled up my 'frustration' towards a lots of things besides me. I can be just emotional challenged lately. I am not sure. It's weird somehow to think about fairness and demand that to be exercised while we know, it doesn't exist in this fallen world. Well, stupidlly, I still demand that ... and I made my demands towards something which I know it will only hurts feelings of others and yet, I still wanna do it. Is this call human nature? or sinful nature?

Whatever it is, England and Mexico are feeling the same I am sure.... that there's injustice in this world. Two different occasions, two different cities and 8 difference referees and yet... technology has shown us that they were at WRONG and both teams, 2 nations released their frustration and due to that, same consequences resulted, we lose!

So what if we know we are 'winning', we were correct? so what? we are still loser anyway.... argue over it? come on... it only affects our emotions and it will detrimental to our spiritual walk and healthy soul. At the end, we are losing.

I am seriously frustrated with all these what I call 'non-sense' from the church leadership, from the members, from my clients, from my bosses, from everyone in the world. Put it this way, we are trying to find a balance point somewhere to make the scares LOOKS a bit 'balance' and yet, child as young as 2 years old know, it's IMPOSSIBLE!

While I was waiting in court this morning, I took the liberty to THINK on just one point: what do i want. My niece thought me this lesson 2 days ago. Instead of toys, i bought my nephew and niece some clothes this time as their parents said they have too many toys and they won't be able to bring to England in August. I know what they expect from me... TOYS! But, i bought them clothes... truely, they were disappointed because they can't play with their TOYS with me this time... and my niece got angry, throw the clothes to me and cried. (she got her punishment after that - from her mom). I was then thinking... see, my little niece also know what she wants... how can I not know what i want... "what exactly i want?"

I guess i am burned out. Seriously does... till a point where I really think throwing things and cry is the best think I can do for now. hahaha... Well, so I have the idea... of trying to 'throw' things up and out and to cry...

Ya... I am thinking of giving up on a lots of things lately... life is not one... not to worry! hahaha...

- Frustration! -