Hmm... it's a good sunday ... with good sermon. Glad that my brother was preaching again.. otherwise, I don't think i can 'connect' to this powerful message at all... well, ... i heard the other preacher from the hakka service was just talking about sharing gospel by words... and not by actions.... he had not been giving us any good impression since 2 months ago.. and we all know all he does was just 'talk' and not 'doing'. That's the main thing that pissed me off. Remember when my dad was hospitalised, and a group of brothers and sisters who were really loving and caring... they even set up a fund to help us out. They have come up with taking turns to help my mom with changing diapers and all... and they have even gave us financial support knowing that I was without job, etc. They have even offered to send and pick me up from airport, etc. Well, in general, all that we needed, they provided. Church somehow felt jealous about it and they started to 'step in' when they realised and came to know that a group of friends were financially supporting us. They were not happy about and they told those 'friends of my dad' that what they did was not proper and they want to take over the 'task'. So, whoever wants to give us monthly support, they should pass all the money to the church and the church will pass it to my mother. Seriously, I do not know the amount until today because I don't really care much and it's for my parents, not me. But why church needs to do that? Well, still, we do have a few others who came to our home and gave my parents gifts from their heart directly. I must says, I appreciate all these a lot. At least, it helped me in many ways, supporting my parents financially and physically. It's hard work because we expected the worse and yet, God let him lives and he somehow gets better each day. Why did I said on FB one time that priest and drs are the most heartless people on earth? Well, they have seen too many people die. Seriously, if you ask me, attended funeral more than marriage ceremony. Everyone can be my witness because everytime my dad goes for funeral, there where I was... I follows him, to learn how to be compassion, how to comforts others, how to give support to the family, etc. That's probably born in me, I don't know. I only know I cares a lot of how others feel ... more than what I feel. Dad taught me to love others more than ourselves through what he did. He gave despite the fact that he has nothing else to give. He provides, he always be the peace maker, he solves problems, he listens, he gives, he always 'be there' for others. That's make me being so sure, what 'being witness for Christ' truly mean.
When I came to KK and he knows I am settle down in Christ Church Likas, he knows... I was there to give and not to receive because basically, the church has nothing to offer to me. I will end up with lots of complains and complains. From the first Alpha meeting, to the first caroling.. etc. You can ask my parents how much I complain about... and the amazing 10 people youth.. which is even less than a cell group, it took me a long long time to accept the fact. From the moment my umbrella was stolen from the church, goodness.. i already label this church as .... "a thief dam". There's nothing edifying from this church. I must say, if it is not because of my love for God, I would have left long long time ago. It's God's love that pushed me to push forward, to do MORE for the church.
But when every single time after I sacrificed and GAVE out to the Lord, the people keep stabbing with and wanted to kill me... you know what exactly persecution is... not from non-christian, but from your beloved brothers and sisters in Christ. Each time I felt so 'dead' after each PCC meeting and I realised, this church can't be helped anymore.
God's witness? It's not just about words or sharing. It's about action... John Sung didn't just PREACH and SHARE the gospel in China. He turned himself as a Chinese man, speak the language, lives the life of a Chinese in order to 'share' the gospel. He ACTS, he was there, as witness for Christ that His love is great!
During the most difficult time in my life, I only heard people telling me, "we do love you". But what was acted out from the statement was completely difference. There's no action, no messages, no communication, nothing... all I knew was I was de-friended from FB, being cut off from their groups, being completely forgotten. The church and the people in this church... is merely trying to lives their life according to their own ways, not being witness for God.
I am very much disappointed. Very disappointed especially on those whom always said they are the BEST ... they are the most LOVING people ... !
Bishop Vun told me "You know I love your dad. But I really pray that God will take Him back. His condition is not glorifying God". Really? Which part is not glorifying? Now you are the JUDGE is it? Sorry to say, I am disappointed. Very disappointed. Oh, that was spoken during Faith Revival time, sometime in May 2011 right? I am speechless really.... Are we God's witness? Yes. I am no longer His' witness... but before you judge me. Examine yourself and see if you are one.
- Witnessing for God? -
