Speechless?

This is another 'speechless' post in my blog. Just that this time round, I am made speechless because of uncertainty.... as if, God has shuts many doors and left a few which I has never thought of. Oh well,... if the question of whether I should go full time is what you are to ask me, my answer is, I wish it is, but God says NO, or rather, NOT YET! Oh well, at least, ... God has shuts that door for now. So, you asked... 'what then?' Oh well... I seriously have no idea. hahahahahaha....

As I was pondering over things, I read the front page a rector wrote where he said, it could be a spiritual warfare and the evil one, loves to challenge the leaders/shepherds in all areas of their 'success'. Oh well, I am not a successful lawyer, both in fame and in monetary terms, but... I guess because I am one of the spiritual leader, hence, the evil one is going my way... well, first, they love to use christian leaders who are not very spiritual to harm me, now, job. I wonder what's next... I am not only speechless, but also not knowing what to 'think'.

I urge you therefore, to pray for me. First to put down my hatred towards those who harm me (some of you and God knows how much I can do to harm them back if I want to), and also to be able to find a job in which I can serve Him at the same time.

- speechless? -

Choices...

Looks like an adult human being is always been bothered by 'choices' throughout his/her life. Somehow, I have no idea when was the first time I started to make my choice. More so, I can't remember on what matter I need to choose. It could be whether to eat chocolate ice cream or strawberry ice cream? It could be whether I want to go toilet now or later, etc. etc. From those small tiny little decision making, as age advanced, I am to make a bigger decision when I got older and older (everyday's process). More often then others, now a day, is I don't like to make my choice.

Some people always wonder how I make my choice. Some based on their feelings. Some based on their needs. Some based on whether they feel comfortable or not and some, they asked 10 people for their opinion and take the majority answer as his/her answer. Whatever, however it is.... we still can't run away from making that choice.

3 weeks ago, I was being left to have no choice. Then slowly, I was given 1 and now, I am getting more choices. I am not so sure if it is more choices or less is better for me. But one thing I am sure.... that I shouldn't make any choice with my own understanding and ability, but, I must focus on that very one question: "what God wants me to do."

I checked this website out recently (http://www.ijm.org) and seriously, I guess somehow it stirs my desire..... the desire to serve God with my professions, the skills and talents God has given me all these years. Of all the choices I was given today, somehow I am not sure why, .... I am praying that my application will go through though... of course it's all up to the Lord to decide ... :) But why ah?

- Choices ... -

Kids therapy

It's a week full of works and stress and uncertainty, etc. etc. and with the long distance driving, half of the worries gone (that's why I always went out and drive for an hour or two when I was down). Well, imagine a 13 hours of drive with 3 stops in between... it's tiring but it's good enough to help me to overcome the stress I had. Upon reaching home even before I enter into my house, I heard shouting from the house, my dearest niece called "gu gu, do you want a tiger biscuit". It's 7:30pm and I was not only tired, but hungry and hearing that offer from my dearest niece, how can I say no? She rushed to the table, took a piece and rushed to me and said, "come, eat it!". I did accordingly and when the door is open (my dad opened it), I asked her if she can bring my mug to the kitchen, she did as told. How nice... and then.... my nephew started her 'stories'. First of what they had, then of what they are having, and he keeps updating me with informations and informations and what he learned, what he has been doing and what his sister has been doing and likes, etc, etc... until I said, "Alright, I am very tired and I need a shower" and they allowed me to go upstairs. I went into my room, came out with my clothes, closed the door and went into the toilet and then... i heard some sounds... they were giggling... and so, I open the toilet door, and saw the two of them wanted to go into my room. Well, they were stopped by my brother of course. hahaha... so, i asked them why they want to enter into my room and they wanted 2 things. First, my violin and secondly, my tigger. Well, since they were stopped by their father, i went for my shower and they were ordered to go downstairs. After my shower and dinner, I played 2 boardgames with my nephew and niece and we had lots of fun. I went to bed earlier that night as I was extremely tired. I woke up the next day, playing with them in the morning and went to Tawau Hill Park with my parents and them. It's a nice time seeing them running around in the jungle. Unbelievable, my niece is more brave than my nephew. hahahahahaha.... After church service on Sunday, I went back home and went to my room, until my niece knocked my door, came into my room, played my violin and played with tigger. It's a 3 very tiring hours I had with them, but seriously... having them around, I have not even a second needed to think about the problems I am facing. I don't even need to reach the 'thinking' stage. The only thinking I need to go through is when they started to ask me questions. Ghoosh, they even made my dad find a very small town in South Africa with them. hahahahahaha... what more when I have to rescue the cats? Well, I am glad, I bought them 2 bottles of bubble blower... they had lots of fun with it and they enjoyed it very much. They will have about 15 minutes playing with it every day after each meals. Cool ai? hahahahaha....

So ya.... I am glad I have them around last weekend. I will see them again tomorrow as it's my nephew's 6th years old birthday! This time, I will be bringing them their presents.

- Kids therapy -