???

I put at my MSN the subject title: "I deserve a slap on my face" last night and this morning, once my computer is on, I received a few messages from friends and relatives asking me why do I think I deserve a slap. Well, my general answer would be, because of my stupid thinking stupid action and stupid emotions, whatever... that I deserve a slap. Some of course reacted towards it by slapping me on my face as the sign of their love to me of course, so that I can feel better and some, besides slapping me, has even treated me with a wonderful lunch. Thanks LK and DO. Really nice of both of you.

Oh well, a friend also commented that, it's ok to make mistakes and failed in my journey as long as I know how to get up and not only walk, but run again. I guess, she is in a way, correct... because many successful people have failed many times, more than I have and today, they succeeded. I can see the 'outcome'... but the process of getting there, seriously... is killing, especially I can't see even the 'slight sign' ...

More over, life got tough since I got back from England. I don't 'enjoy' most of the time here anymore, especially some people arounds me... I know they care, they do very much care, but I just can't pull myself up to be with them. So, if you happen to find me to be with you for the past few weeks and get disturbed by me... I am comfortable to be with you. hahahaha....

- ??? -

Update & failure

Just to update you that I am 'graduated' from my physiotherapy... so, yes, a 1 1/2 hours of physiotherapy at 8 this morning has concluded the treatment although I do need to do exercises myself everyday. A report will be sent to my doctor at Damai Specialist Centre soon before I see him on 28.08.2008.

Apart from that... yes, I am feeling miserable... and having the feeling that I am a total failure of being myself. I feel very much discouraged...

And with no income from last month, I am feeling even worse... when I needed internet for my research these days, badly... and a broadband device is needed to be purchased for things to work out... so, yes... I am feeling like a failure...!!!

-update & failure -

Interpretation!

I was thinking of whether to write this as at most of the time, when people misinterpret what I meant, I usually just keep it to myself, let them misunderstood me and I just swallow it and hide it in my stomach. However, I am much bothered by it yesterday. People always didn't get the gist of my 'frustration'. They look at the wrong 'statement' or 'wording' and misinterpreted my words and still, they argue with me as if I do not know what I meant and they know better than I do. It kind of sad where everyone always interpret things and meaning from their own point of view and they will hold fast to it and argue that, whatever they think, it is correct. Hmm.... shallow thinking I should say.... young but yet, stubborn.

I had a bad day yesterday... that's all my yesterday's post was all about and yes... by whatever question I was posted in a very unprofessional way, I picked on it and I was wrong in handling them in a better manner (by voicing it on my blog) and yes, it worsen the condition of my yesterday's misarable state when one or two took it and interpret it on a totally wrong side. Well, I still do not understand why they think they know my feeling better than myself.

Sometimes, I really think, young people these days, really need to go out there and learn things...

Anyway, I guess I blew up yesterday and I am sorry... if you think the blog was talking about you, sorry... you probably wrong but ... I am sure you don't really care much, right? So, yes, am not going to explain.

- interpretation -