Sickness...

I have been suffering from flu, fever, sore throat and so on quite often recently. I wonder what happen. Yes.... I am down with fever again today. Since morning, I had difficulties waking up and I just found myself sweating cold sweat... despite of what I was suffering, I got out from my bed, called my client and met her up. At about 11:30am, I really cannot stand anymore. I am not only feeling 'hot', dizzy, but also a bit of sore throat... hence, I called my office, sort out things and go home for a rest. I hope I'll be able to sleep for a while...

- sickness -

Shocked!

As I was doing works, a friend who seldom contact me through MSN sent me a message and it has really shocked me. She asked me to pray for a friend whom I know since young. Her sister is the smartest person I ever known whom has gone through things with me in many ways and has always been a good encouragment. As she is much younger, I always treat her like my own younger sister. We have less contact since they moved to Australia.

I wonder what happen to her when my friend messaged me and asked me to pray for her. Not until I received a letter from her father which was forwarded to me, I was seriously shocked! When thing like this happen to those close to us, it's somehow, hard to accept it althought it seems 'normal' - it can happen to anyone. Oh well, she is being diagnosed with stage 1 cervical cancer.

I am speechless...how many more of these kind of news will travel to my ears?

By the way, the operation is tomorrow...

- shocked! -

A break?

Without knowing the reason, I have been feeling very depress since months ago and friends have been advising me to take a holiday break any time soon. I have no doubt on me desperately need a break. I have been like a machine since I graduated, was fighting to work and get my CLP, to struggles through pupillege and started up my new firm and so on. I have seriously struggles through things and life without a break for years. I have calculated, the last time I really took a break was about 11 years ago. Breaks from work for a few days of public holiday, etc. didn't treat me well as it's equal to work to me for the past few years.

It's worrying when a friend who seldom call me suddenly called me and to ask me when am I leaving town for a break. I treated that my condition has got 'worse'. I do need a break SOON but I can't as I really need to worry about my finances. So, I shall wait untill the day I leave for England for mission trip. I hope I'll be able to take at least a few days break then.

I seriously need a GOOD break...

But holiday might not do me good. I might need a break from thinking and worrying about future, about finances, about things around me. I can lives for 11 years without any holiday was wholly because I was fine with life and nothing much to worried about. Things and circumstances were quite 'certain' then of what to do next. As for now... everything is just so 'uncertain'.

I asked my master yesterday if I should take up a Master course in University of Malaya. He agreed with me that lawyer can't find a living these days and it's worse in West Malaysia compare to Sabah. I told him I am thinking of getting a Master degree and go for teaching and to him, he think if that's what I have in mind, I should do it now... and not after I practiced law for 10 years. I sort of understand what he tried to say. It is indeed impossible to divert ourselves to another professions after years in that particular of field. I am seriously thinking if I shall therefore change my professions....

- a break? -