Weekend...

Initially, it was a plan to go back home for election, so tickets were purchased about 2 weeks ago to go back on Saturday morning and coming back on Saturday evening. With that, I will still be able to serve in the music ministry on Sunday (Practice is on Friday). However, due to some circumstances, I was asked to go back to Tawau by 9am Friday to enforce a judgment against a debtor/defendant. No choice, I have to go back either Thursday evening or Friday morning.

Somehow, I took the 7am flight on Friday morning to go back to Tawau. Thank to my friend who picked me up from the airport (that's the last time I seen this friend of mine) and sent me to the court straight. Reached the court on time and after all necessary arrangment, I went to the debtor's/defendant's last known address. When we reached there, we found out that there's no one in the house. The experienced court assistant/bailiff went to his neighbours and asked a lot of questions (I didn't follow) and after a while, he came back and shouted to make sure there's no one at home. The maid came out from the door after a while and she gave us her boss's number to call. The bailiff called of course, for him to return for discussion and so on.

While we were waiting, we were invited to have a cup of coffee and I chit chat with the bailiff. 15 minutes later, the debtor/defendant came back and we started the discussion. I told him my purpose and he asked for time, etc. and of course, I do know all those are just excuses. Too bad, I am sure the Bailiff wanted to help him but because I was there and some how, he got to know I know his boss, so... he has no choice but to do what he should. The whole matter taken up all the morning and after the court matter, I went out with a friend for lunch at Yacth Club Tawau. I cannot remember when was the last time I went in there. Most probably during my Tennis lesson during my secondary school time. hahaha... anyway... went in, ordered some food and when I went to pay, this boss looked at me and asked if I am so and so's daughter. She claims that she knows my parents and my brother, etc. etc. I didn't talk much as I really don't like that kind of feeling of being 'recognised'. Well, I left the place almost immediately after that and headed home. Got home and slept the whole afternoon until some neighbour woke me up as he was lazy to get down from his car and open the door and keep on sounding the horns till the maid came out. You want to see the laziest person in the world, do come to my hometown. A few just happen to be in front of me.

On Saturday, I sent my parents for the election. Afte they have done, they sent me to the dentist. Took about 2 hours at the dentist and after that, my turn to vote and after that, lunch. Wanted to check in earlier at the airport but when we reached there, it wasn't open. Then stucked at home until I called my cousin sister who came back from Hong Kong. We went out for Yam Cha with another friend who came back from Singapore. Interestingly, 4 of us sat there and we are at different places. hahahaha.... another one of course ia my older cousin sister who is in Tawau. hahahaha...

So, 2 days trip back to Tawau is not bad after all.

- weekend -

Yawn...!!!

I have been out from home since morning for a friend's father's funeral. I came back to office and rushed a few things and still, there's some work pending. Guess I will only be able to do it on Monday. Yes.. Monday because I am going back to Tawau tomorrow morning at 7am for a case, to enforce a judgment with the Bailiff at 9am tomorrow morning. So, that's why I rushed things and was trying to finish work.

Just got a few things done and a few pending. For 2 days, I have billed 4 persons and none of them make any payment as yet. Now you know why am I having financial struggles? Yes... my clients all don't pay on time.

Yawn... I am seriously sleepy. When will I get a good sleep? ...

- yawn -

Love v. Compassion

Definition:

love

• noun 1 an intense feeling of deep affection. 2 a deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone. 3 a great interest and pleasure in something. 4 a person or thing that one loves. 5 (in tennis, squash, etc.) a score of zero. apparently from the phrase play for love (i.e. the love of the game, not for money).
• verb 1 feel love for. 2 like very much. 3 loving showing love or great care.

compassion
• noun sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.
— ORIGIN Latin, from compati ‘suffer with’.

I was talking to a friend last night and since we have not been updating our current news with each other, she asked how I am doing, or rather, she asked if things improved at my end. I told her I am still struggles with the financial issues and I am about to 'die' (cannot sustain anymore). The only thing she said was that I'll be fine as I am 'strong' and 'tough' enough to handle all situation (like I am all weather kind of person). I asked if that's the reason why I was not being loved and not being cared for all these while. She gave me this answer: All those around me love me a lot just that they do not show their compassion doesn't mean they don't love it.

Somehow this phrase has brought my mind to wander on another existing issue. I seldom show compassion to others and when I do to one or two persons in particular, the rest would feel threaten or shall I say, uneasy. Unfair is the word they will use against me. Often, I have received such comment and I wonder if things like that happen to others too and strangely, NO. The answer NO is for a few reasons, in particular, it's because the person is not compassionate to anyone at all and or the person has been showing compassionate to EVERYONE. I, happen to be the one who is compassionate towards some selected one and that's why I am distributing my love 'unfairly'.

unfair
• adjective not based on or showing fairness; unjust.

May be I am. May be it all started with people treated me unfairly in the beginning that has caused me to be who I am today. I am not asking for anything. I am just telling the world that there's no fairness in this world and I am trying to show fairness even though I know it is impossible. After all, I am just one soul with one physical body. I might not be showing my compassion to you but please ... I do love you all. That's the fact!

Meanwhile, I too... need someone to show me some compassions too... !

- love v. compassion -