It's such a joy to see so many familiar faces over the past few days, since the day I arrived Kota Kinabalu. Well, a group of friends from Kuala Lumpur were here for the Diocese English Youth Camp at Kota Kinabalu and therefore, I manage to met them. It's really so nice to be with them. However, over a conversation with a friend, I found out that someone said I am very difficult to get along with. Ahham... well, I admit I am because of the high standard of living that I am practising. hahaha.... !!! I can't please everyone. I admit that I was not making everyone's life any easier during my last 2 years of staying at this house in PJS Sunway. Mainly because conflict started before we moved in. I didn't want to sign the tenancy agreement as I know I will be leaving one day but I was being blamed for it. I wanted to move to stay in one of the room upstairs because my lung cannot contain too much smoke (they wanted to cook), they refused my request and yet still wanting to cook while I was sleeping at late night. I made a few complains after not having enough sleep (I thought this is normal as human being does react such way if they didn't get enough sleep) but I was being blamed for being unreasonable. Well, at most of the time, may be these people's job is just a bit low standard that they do not get tired at work and they can still play games and make noises to annoyed other housemates, they did that for one or two nights in the middle of the week, in the middle of the night.. and when I sounded my discomfort, I was being catogorised as 'unreasonable' and 'inconsiderate'. Well, well, well... may be all these are my fault... may be I did lives a different life because my work need so much of my brain and physical fitness. May be in the past, I was taught to sleep at night and they are not. I felt so upset when I heard that from a friend about an ex-housemate's complain. So, I took yesterday to ponder over things happen in the past and I realise that I really had not lived a happy life because of them. I wonder if the process of my brought up had anything to do with all these because I always lives alone... but wait... I choose to lives alone because I don't like to conflict with anyone. ... but when my mind wander to my life in England... I still remember... besides those nasty housemates I had in my first year, for the rest of my years in England, I had a very good time with all my housemates althought they are from different countries.
Now, I wonder if 'standard' of living is something that I need to look into. I guess... in England, we are all graduates, we are all mature, we all know how to handle our own self, we handle difficulties together, we just lives a different standard of life. I thought I am adapting to Malaysia 2 years ago but I guess, I am not exactly used to it still... So, my pastor in England was correct that reverse culture is more difficult than adapting a new culture. I thought I took 4 years to adapt Malaysia, but in fact, I haven't even manage to do it TODAY. Lower down my own standard to suit them while they never try to achieve higher standard is really not easy. I am not saying I am better, I am just saying... we are difference.
As Christmas is drawing nearer... and I should have sent out Christmas Cards by now which I failed to do, I really miss England... and I really miss my friends in England. Even last night while I saw sleeping, I dreamed of Mints Pies, Christmas pudding, and others... eeehmmmeee wow... !!!
- pondering -
