Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Just a down feeling...

I was feeling so down since this morning. Didn't feel like going to the office at all. Feel like taking an MC and stayed at home. I was bother by the fact that I do not have sufficient experience in the law professions to entitle me to apply for be the Bank panel lawyer or the trustee company panel lawyer. Although I always thought if they are not going to give me works, I shall take works from them, but it nevertheless make me feel a bit down. Until I met my dad in the MSN and had a short talk with him. He reminded me that he did this kind of decision once and it was a good decision. He continue to said that I wouldn't know if I didn't take the step to do it first. I believe it is true.
You know what? Wherever I go, who ever I met, which ever road I passed by, this question "Will this be the last time?" came into my mind. I guess I start missing this place, this comfortable life already. I can't recall this happen when I was about to leave England. I miss England so much and the life there so much, but I didn't feel burden to leave England. I do not know the exact reason, but I do know that I keep on telling myself that 'I will be back here soon'.
During these 6 years in KL, I builded up my life, my career, my friends, my networks, my contacts here. KL is more like 'MY TOWN'. I went to court and I will certainly met someone I know. I walked around the streets and I certainly will meet someone I am familiar with. I need help, I just need to take out my handphone and press a button. When I need comforts, encourgment, I just need to speak out and someone will be here to consult, comforts and encourage me. I go everywhere I like with my little Blue car and I am so familiar with every corner of this town/city. It is so difficult to leave everything behind and leave.
Moreoever, going to a totally strange place. For those of you who knows me well, may I ask for your opinion if this is a 'training' from the Lord?
Anyway... I am missing....................... LIFE in KL!!!

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Mixture of feelings!!!

It was a busy, tiring but joyful weekend. I was so busy to get things done, get my car fixed, get my body to rest, meeting up with some friends during the weekend. On Sunday, I was amazingly BUSY. Play bass guitar in the service, then met 3 friends for meal, then meeting (welfare committee), then preached in the children ministry, then do a translation, went home for 30 minutes, took my shower then go back to church for leaders’ training. Monday, it was supposed to be a holiday but I woke up at 8am and went to a friend’s place to hand her something also to fill up some forms. Went back home for 1 hour (pack my McDonald breakfast back) and then prepared myself for one best friend’s wedding at 11am. After the wedding, went home and I got myself ready for my church’s family games day. It was a fantastic games day. The whole church had a lot of fun. I wasn’t physically fit and therefore I didn’t participate, but I went around taking pictures. It’s just FUN!!! Yes, believe it or not, after the game, I prepared myself to my best friend’s wedding banquet. This morning I woke up with all sorts of feelings, as follows: -

(a) I do not want to go to work.
(b) I do not want to stay in this firm anymore.
(c) Is my decision to go back to KK, Sabah good?
(d) I am worries
(e) I started to miss this place, the journey to go to work, the friends meeting after court duties, this discussion with friends, etc.
(f) I started to miss my life in KL and my friends.
(g) I saw a advertisement of my previous company in the newspaper and it just brought me back to ‘those days’ and I am going to miss everyone there.
(h) I was reminded by a friend that today is Tuesday and we will be meeting in worship practice tonight and I started to miss playing bass and any other ministries in the church.
(i) I saw the ‘welfare committee minutes’ and “Song writing competition” and I am going to miss all these.
(j) I saw the whole church was playing games yesterday and I am going to leave them soon, my heart felt so ‘painful’.

With all these, I am really questioning myself if I really need to go. I looked at the budget I did and re-consider of the opportunity placed in front of me and the financial burden I had, I wonder if it is a good timing for me to really start my own business. It is a ‘try’. A tough ‘try’. Can I make it? What if things didn’t turn out well?

With this move of mine, I am going to use a lot of money in it. And it is going to be THE ONLY TRY-OUT. I am afraid, I am worry and I am have not 100% confidence that all these is going to work well. My dear smart brother (who always my guidance and advisor) reminded me that if I do not have that big head, I shouldn’t wear that big hat. I do not have that kind of money to ‘try out’ yet and he is reminding me of the ‘danger’ of a partnership, etc.

So, comfortable, steady, unprogressive life or challenging, risky and worries life for not?
- comfortable life or taking up challenge? -

Thursday, April 27, 2006

BURNOUT IN LAWYER

Yes, I found this interesting. This a copyright reserved by CLJ Legal Network Berhad.
Just for your pleasure reading.
********************************************
BURNOUT IN LAWYERS


by


Dr. Ian M. Chung

SUBJECT: Health and Medicine, Law Profession
Malaysia
Also found at [1995]4 CLJ cxiii (Dec)





Who would have thought it could happen to lawyers? You went into law with high hopes. You were entering a noble profession. You had the respect of the community. You had prospects of a good income. So you thought.


What is the reality today? The reality of course is that change is inevitable, but the change for lawyers is accelerating in a negative direction.


Burnout


Burnout was a trendy diagnosis for a condition suffered by health care professionals in the social and welfare fields. Nowadays anyone can burnout butchers, bakers, candlestick makers and even lawyers. The condition is characterised by frustration accompanied by a sense of hopelessness related to the professional life of the sufferer. In part, the condition is related to the expectation of the professional exceeding the possible outcome of the work. This is often in the context of a range of competing demands and expectations from the client, the philosophy of the professional body they belong to, consumer expectations, the rules and structure of the employing body, society's attitudes, and the resources available. Does this sound familiar?


Burnout and the law


The law is part boredom and part sheer stress. Under-stimulation or tedium is a stress itself and leaves as prone to distraction, avoidance and unnecessary omission and errors.


Then there are the constant interruptions - the incessant phone, the 'emergencies', the staff.


How many of us have developed a phone phobia? The very ring of the phone triggers a negative Pavlovian response of annoyance and frustration because it has come to mean another problem, another interruption, another emergency or complication.


As for the clients, they are at the same time a source of income and of annoyance. Someone we want to attract and avoid at the same time. How often do they expect the world but expect to pay nothing? How often do they expect to take no responsibility themselves, have no idea what they want, have unrealistic expectations, change their mind at the last moment? The matter gets delayed for a variety of reasons but who is blamed? How often the client appears to think that they are our only client and their case is the most urgent. Prioritising becomes determined by the perceived level of the crisis.


Then there are those areas of law where a high percentage of clients are litigious, where there is utter frustration due to the system and where remuneration is poor. How many of you dread the family law case? How many of you have decided not to do certain types of work?


Even your colleagues can become the source of stress due to their delays, the adversarial system, the deliberate game playing, the style of their professional competition.


The law course did not prepare you for dealing with these realities - consumer expectation, lawyer bashing by the media, communication with difficult clients, time management, financial and cost control, staff administration and technological changes.


Meanwhile practising certificate fees, LawCover, insurance, wages, rents, taxes, superannuation and the mortgage all have to be paid.


"There has to be an easier way to earn a living some of you begin to think."

Law as we knew is dead! In some respects this is a good thing but in others it is disastrous. What can we do about it? Many feel quite hopeless. Some burnout! Some smoulder along. Some dropout. Some survive.

What are the symptoms of burnout?


It feels like 'Mondayitis', seven days a week; there is moodiness and irritability, there is loss of interest, not only in work but more generally; sometimes there is an attempt to escape into sleep, food, drugs, alcohol, sex or some other diversion; anxiety or even panic disorders may appear; depression is more liable to occur. The sufferer feels trapped, they feel unable to find a solution to
their situation, they feel angered and they gradually decline into a sense of hopelessness and eventually helplessness. It seems to them no one understands, no one cares and everyone and everything is conspiring against them. Communications, personal and professional, deteriorate; as a result relationships deteriorate, quality of life deteriorates, professional performance deteriorates and risk of negligence claims increases.


Some readers would say "I'm not that bad!' I would certainly hope not because I have described the full clinical course of the condition of burnout, but I wonder how many of us are at the prodromal phase (or in the early stages) of the condition? The symptoms of the early stages are Mondayitis occurring on Sunday night, general ennui, impatience when things do not go exactly as you'd like, loss of interest in work, developing pre-occupations. You start to wish you were somewhere else and you look longingly at Amway or a McDonalds franchise, at an antique shop or coffee bar.


A spontaneous remission is usually the result of accidental discovery of meaning in one's work or in life, discovering a compelling interest or a purpose in life.


Do not wait for an accidental remission, take action. Early intervention is the only alternative to progression of the condition to dropout.


Surviving burnout


1. Care about what you do but not so much that you cannot detach when appropriate.
2. Develop a sense of mastery, by getting good at something that you like to do inside the profession and outside.
3. Concentrate on doing well what you like to do and let the rest take care of itself.
4. Live a balanced life and develop living skills – get fit physically, emotionally and spiritually (NOT necessarily religiously).
5. Develop supportive relationships and networks professionally and personally.
6. Come to know and appreciate your strengths, come to accept and guard against your weaknesses.
7.Be aware of the early warning signs of burnout and intervene early - just take a step, make a start.
8. Be prepared to accept help if you sense danger signals.
9.Beware of maladaptive stress release e.g. bingeing on food, alcohol or drugs; compulsive gambling or sex.
10. Learn and practice stress management yourself.
11. Life by the serenity prayer. For those who are not familiar with this prayer, it goes like this:
a) God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
b) The courage to change the things that I can;
c) And the wisdom to know the difference;

Remember, God helps those who help themselves.


It took me some 30 years of professional life to begin to live by these philosophies but, take heart, burnout is not inevitable. I have survived - so can you. Indeed, I do enjoy my work, psychotherapy; I have vicariously lived 1000 lives, and I acknowledge the lesson of these lives that I have just shared with you.


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